on 4 july 2026, this website project was officially retired.
it was originally created to help me process my first true love and has now served its purpose.
this project is now part of my history and will no longer be maintained.
thank you for visiting.
kevin.
significant boys in my life
2013 - vaden c. - first attraction ("deep boys")
2017 - nicholas k. - straight male friend ("special boys")
2019 - jeremy c. - first crush ("standard crush")
2023 - harry n. - corrective experience ("special boys")
2025 - alfie b. - first true love ("deep boys")
"deep boys" = deep existential person-specific attraction
"special boys" = straight boys who have impacted my sexuality
"standard crush" = surface-level projection-based attraction