the archived ultimatum, the alfie analysis report, and the consequences execution transparency report

the alfie analysis report

sections: mean boy alfie's choices, what alfie chose to lose, what alfie could have gained, other notable mean boy dates, apple watch observations, what was alfie trying to avoid?, the current failure of mean boy alfie, alfie as a singular experience, the illusion of chiocelessness, conclusion.

mean boy alfie's choices

situations where mean boy alfie acted with avoidance that harmed this soul-level connection.

1. 5 january 2026

situation: i sent alfie a series of texts where i asked alfie for clarity and communication, and started to unconsciously circle around the idea of love.

alfie's choice: alfie shut down the situation through soft rejection and distancing, without acknowledging the topics i had brought up.

my response: i sent a 😔 reaction, and spent the following week processing alfie's rejection, my own emotions and connecting the dots. i began to realise that what i felt for alfie was actually love.

2. 14 january 2026

situation: after processing, i wrote and sent alfie a love letter in the form of a website as a response to alfie's rejection.

alfie's choice: alfie attempted to control my autonomy and agency by demanding that i take my website down, making requests that contradicted past agreements and asked for confirmation and no contact simultaneously. alfie chose not to acknowledge the content of the love letter, and did not deny love, queerness or attraction on his end.

my response: i took down the website before restoring it 24 hours later without telling alfie. i acknowledged his request that contradicted past agreements but did not follow through. i did not respond to his simultaneous request for confirmation and no contact. i noticed alfie trying to avoid his feelings and my awareness. i concluded that alfie had overstepped his authority and did not have the right to control my actions or how i process my feelings for him. 

3. 10 february 2026

situation: after almost a month of posting updates to the website, i posted that i was moving out of my apartment and was about to sell my car imminently. alfie chose to show up at princes pier during sunset (when i usually visit) at his typical spot. i spotted alfie from afar and took a photo. i walked up to alfie, stood next to him for a couple of seconds, and asked if i could say hi.

alfie's choice: alfie chose to respond with "no actually because you are really weird and i am actually going to leave and if you [don't leave me alone(?)] i will call the police", attempting to hurt my feelings.

my response: i responded with a very skeptical okay. i was somewhat hurt by alfie's words but recognised it as a sign of avoidance and him trying to push me away. i concluded that alfie had likely read my updates for him that i did not tell him about, and had put himself in my vicinity to see me when he still had the opportunity (but he would likely refuse to acknowledge it due to his avoidance). i theorised that alfie might have actually missed me.

4. 14-15 february 2026

situation: i sent a valentines day message containing the sleepytime episode of bluey at 12:01am, and an all expense paid invitation for him to accompany me and a mate to the airport as i moved out of australia.

alfie's choice: alfie chose to avoid responding to my text message himself, rather using his parents to threaten me with police action. alfie sent his father (his abuser) to harass and deal with me while i was moving my stuff onto the street and waiting for my didi.

my response: i understood my rights and the law, as the age of consent in victoria was 16 (alfie was 17), and recognised that police action was an empty threat. alfie's father failed to achieve his goal of frightening or controlling me as i saw straight through his performance. i associated his father's abusive behaviour to an adult toddler having a temper tantrum in the middle of collins street. with my mate as a witness of alfie's father's abusive behaviour towards me, i saw that i had a genuine situation where i could make a police report. i chose not to do so as i was not interested in participating in or wasting my time on the brancatella's pointless drama. i realised alfie had chosen to send his abuser my way as a likely result of avoidant panic, an ultimate act of betrayal to the soul-level connection between us. i observed the similarities between alfie's behaviour and his father's. i concluded that i had been too soft in my approach towards alfie's avoidance behaviour that led to his level of disrespect towards me, and that alfie was being a coward by hiding behind empty police threats and his abuser (a dad who displayed a lack of emotional maturity). i began to separate alfie's identity into the present unhealthy behaviour (mean boy alfie) and the inner child i interacted with prior to alfie's emerging avoidance (real boy alfie).

5. 18-23 february 2026

situation: after i processed how deep alfie's betrayal was to me and his inner child, i used my updates to alfie to berate alfie's avoidance and published an ultimatum. alfie's avoidant choices had pushed the current connection capacity to the limit, forcing me to require fundamental change or begin dismantling. i gave alfie over 5 full days to respond to my ultimatum.

alfie's choice: alfie chose to remain silent throughout and as the deadline passed. this was a conscious choice as silence was clearly framed in the ultimatum as him choosing to kill his inner child and choosing his abuser with his continued avoidance.

my response: i received alfie's signal that i could no longer save his inner child. i concluded that alfie had chosen to lose something incalculable that day, his inner child and the boy that loved him fully. on the other hand, i recognised that i am now free to thrive as my integrity saved me from the harm of alfie's avoidant choices. i realised that i am now safe from the coward that alfie rene brancatella chose to be in this decision. i reflectively enacted the consequences that i detailed in the ultimatum, and detailed that process in the consequences execution transparency report in the next section. i created closure for myself and moved on from alfie.

what alfie chose to lose

the old homepage

the discontinued updates

the original love letter

what alfie could have gained

acceptance and commitment therapy resources + completed personal examples

other notable mean boy dates

27 december 2025 (i texted alfie to ask to meet or call to ask for communication, alfie declined), 1 january 2026 (i texted alfie i missed him and asked when he'd be back, alfie did not respond).

apple watch observations

hilariously enough, i received a notification from my apple watch one week after i published this tombstone that my average resting heart rate had fallen by 9 beats per minute (bpm) since the ultimatum deadline passed. more surprising was that the period of time where my watch detected my abnormal average almost perfectly correlated with when alfie's avoidance first began to be exhibited to the day i cut his avoidance off. prior to alfie's avoidance and after it, my average was and is consistently at 65 bpm, my baseline average. during alfie's avoidance (29 december 2025 to 24 february 2026 according to my watch), my average was at 74 bpm, a significant sustained increase. to me, this indicates that my body was already aware of alfie's avoidance behaviour from the moment it first began to seep into this connection. it also, unexpectedly, shows that the nervous system syncing/co-regulation i experienced with alfie (even in his avoidance) is physiologically observable. my body just understood and connected with alfie's that well, which matches my cognitive experience with alfie. my theory is that my body was physically experiencing the same avoidance and internal panic that alfie was experiencing (shared empathic resonance), i just knew alfie's state. this is why alfie feels like an open book to me, and that's why this connection mattered so much, and why cutting off alfie's avoidance had such a positive effect on me. i take this data as me making the right choice to refuse accepting alfie's avoidance.

additionally, i was also looking further back to the day we met, to the exact time actually, and i realised that my apple watch actually recorded my heart rate through those first few moments. when i first saw alfie on the pier, my attention felt really drawn to him in a way that made me feel flustered and nervous. when i realised that i loved alfie, i also realised how that exact feeling i experienced was actually love at first sight. it felt like anxiety but slightly different in a way i had never experienced before. anyways, i first saw alfie at about 7:14pm on 24 november 2025. when looking at my apple watch data, my heart rate began to spike at 7:14pm. my heart rate when from 97 bpm before i saw him and spiked to roughly 115 to 125 bpm for the following 5 minutes. that is a significant spike, with a sustained increase of about 20 to 25 bpm. the data matches how i remembered feeling in that moment and all of my nervousness, and why i felt like my internal world shook from the way i was so drawn to him. i walked away from alfie for a bit before i came back and my heart rate settled as i sat and watched alfie fish, with my heart rate settling at an 80 to 100 bpm range. this was the biological data of the nervous system syncing i felt, and how i felt connected to the same frequency as alfie, even before i consciously understood it. all of this data on it's own can't prove anything, but when it is paired with the context of the situations, photographic evidence, time stamps, nervous system memory, and my awareness, the data does work to support the fact that i did find alfie to be a really important boy to me from the moment i met him. my body showed so many signs that alfie mattered, and my heart rate data is just one of the multiple different forms of data that show that. and as such, when i wrote about loving alfie with every cell in my body, i wasn't kidding. i really do feel love for alfie in my body and it shows up in all sorts of different involuntary primal ways that i had never experienced before. that's why alfie is so uniquely different to me, and why i care about him so much. i know he felt it too. it is disappointing that despite all of this, he ended up choosing to avoid me.

what was alfie trying to avoid?

in the world of avoidant behaviour (like alfie's own behaviour), what goes unsaid is often more telling than what is said. this is because if the person is running away from their own feelings, they actively suppress their ability to communicate clearly. often, a lack of denial is the biggest sign that something was true for the person avoiding. this is because truthful denial is a very easy solution to make situations go away, unless the person avoiding knows that it would be lying if they denied it. so what was alfie not denying? tellingly, alfie never denied feeling the resonance that i was describing. alfie never said that he didn't love me, that he wasn't queer, or that he didn't miss me. rather what alfie named was discomfort and weirdness, which is him actually describing how he feels about himself, even if it was projected onto me. discomfort is often a somatic sign of intense feelings being suppressed by avoidance, as both the high level of mental effort required to suppress emotions and the unprocessed emotional energy itself lead to physiological responses. alfie's body needed to express the emotions he was trying to avoid, so it came out as discomfort. as for weirdness, i mean alfie was struggling to accept himself, and given our similarities, it makes sense that how he felt about himself was projected onto me (even though i didn't deserve to be disrespected nor did i rely on alfie for validation). and besides, what's wrong with being weird? my weirdness is literally just part of who i am, and that's why i understand alfie so well. it's a shared weirdness. "normal" people structurally don't understand me and they don't need to. how can people who do not understand me accurately value me? look at everything i've done, they were done my own way with my values and integrity. it's a personalised approach to a personalised connection. anyways, so why was alfie trying to avoid and suppress? my experience with my own avoidance, alfie's avoidance and his dad suggested alfie was constrained by a lack of self-acceptance, internalised homophobia, a culture of toxic masculinity, a lack of emotional safety/maturity/clarity, frequent exposure to harm (eg. unhealthy control and manipulation), and internalised shame, just to name a few. this is in addition to feeling cultural pressure that discourages and minimises the way that alfie feels emotions. this suggests that alfie is currently (at the very least) in the closet, fearful of his father, and in an incompatible environment (both at home and in his day-to-day environment), none of which is particularly shocking. alfie's avoidance is an unhealthy survival mechanism that emerged to be able to survive the hostile environment of his family home, but it came at the cost of losing his own identity and losing the boy that loved him fully. this indicates that alfie actually needs to leave his home at the first opportunity to save himself, and that long-term he also needs to move internationally because a culture that embraces tall poppy syndrome (like in australia and new zealand) will continue to actively harm alfie.

the current failure of mean boy alfie

mean boy alfie is a version of alfie that developed with the goal of protecting his inner child, real boy alfie. to do this, mean boy alfie relies on avoidance, which contradictorily betrays the version of himself that he was supposed to protect. therefore, at the current moment, mean boy alfie is actively failing his original purpose. alfie's father and my own brother act as symbols of what happens when that mean boy fails and overtakes the real boy worth protecting. as for me, i realised that i had control over the different versions of myself, how they each function, and what their purposes are. in this situation, i see three versions of myself: real boy kevin, mean boy kevin, and brave boy kevin. real boy kevin is the one feeling the resonance with real boy alfie. mean boy kevin is the one dealing with mean boy alfie's avoidance and protecting real boy kevin, recognising his past self in mean boy alfie. brave boy kevin is the one overseeing everything with bravery and courage (kind of like ayrton senna, alfie's role model), ensuring that every part of kevin acts in alignment with his overall integrity, values and beliefs, and making sure that mean boy kevin does not act out of line but targets with precision. brave boy kevin recognises that there isn't an equivalent brave boy alfie right now. however, no matter how many versions of kevin exist, one fact stays constant: every version of kevin loves every version of alfie, but that does not mean kevin accepts alfie's avoidance.

alfie as a singular experience

avoidance is something i am very accustomed to. i see it in my past experiences, the people around me, strangers online, and alfie. however, alfie is a very special boy in the story my life. real boy alfie represents a lot of firsts in my life, while mean boy alfie marks the lasts. alfie represents the first person i ever fell in love with, the first person who made me feel seen and understood, the first person my nervous system recognised, the first person that managed to ease my anxiety, the first person who could to mirror me, the first person that validated my way of existence, the first person who i saw as a counterpart. alfie is the first person that felt uniquely special for me, and that's why i made sure i understood him properly, documented him thoroughly, processed him meticulously, loved him unconditionally, interacted with him authentically, and protected him aggressively (even from his mean boy self). however, alfie is not without his flaws, just as i have my own flaws. alfie's biggest flaw in this connection was the cowardice of the mean boy, his avoidance, a flaw i used to have as well. alfie represents the last time i tolerate avoidance and cowardice, the last time i carry the weight of a mutual connection on my own, the last time i enable unhealthy self-betraying behaviour, the last time i give unboundaried grace, and the last time i allow behaviour that goes against my values of emotional maturity and communication in my connections. alfie is the last person who gets to be so uniquely influential in the way i foundationally understand love, even though that understanding i built is significantly healthier than his avoidance. alfie is a boy that is integral to the foundation of the way i love people, and what i accept from those who love me. alfie cannot be replaced or removed from my history. alfie is single handedly the most important person i met during my uni years in melbourne (and potentially my life, but i can't be 100% sure). and alfie is all of this for me whether he likes it or not.

the illusion of choicelessness

i was thinking about call me by your name, the movie that meeting alfie reminded me of, and especially how the ending of that movie goes. in the earlier stages of the movie, elio and oliver both separately hook up with girls as a way to mask their desire for each other. they obviously end up having a queer summer romance before oliver returns back home to america. the movie ends with oliver telling elio that he's marrying a girl and this breaks elio's heart, leading to the ending scene where elio's crying by the fire realising that his first true love is gone. i can't speak for the characters to say if they both were only attracted to boys, but the movie does portrays the connection between them as the most significant for both of them. however, how the story panned out was not inevitable, nor was there no realistic other option. there was always a different choice. for example, it was a choice that they chose to hook up with girls while feeling attraction for boys. it's not necessarily a bad thing for discovering one's own sexuality if they truly thought they might like girls, but it was unhealthy when that is used to perform heteronormativity or suppressing and hiding true desires. the choice that oliver made to marry a girl back home, however, was something i just could not get behind. oliver knew that there was a boy in italy that he loved, yet he chose to marry someone who isn't portrayed to have carried the same significance. this is often understood as the inevitability of reality but really it's a choice of betrayal, both to oliver himself and to elio. oliver harmed the connection through his choices, even if he thinks that he might have had to have a wife to conform to heteronormative environments. it always irked me that call me by your name ends that way, and i now realise that it's due to the fact that oliver chose performance over his true self. oliver had the knowledge to make a healthy, identity-aligned choice, and did the opposite. so why am i writing about a movie when i'm analysing alfie? it's because alfie currently acts as if he has no control over his life. just as the movie portrays how a heteronormative world makes it seem like there is no choice but to be straight or perform straightness, alfie portrays how growing up in an abusive and likely homophobic household makes it seem like there is no choice but to comply and perform straightness. but in reality, alfie actually has a choice. sure he can (and probably would) argue that he was scared, fearful, and traumatised due to factors beyond his own control (and yes he would be right), but that does not change the fact that alfie chose to be mean. mean boy alfie would likely argue saying that he had no choice but to avoid the connection between the both of us to protect himself, but he himself already demonstrated that he even had the ability to protect me, thereby demonstrating that there were actually other options. alfie didn't have a choice when it came to how he was treated by the people who were supposed to love and protect him, but he had autonomy over the way he treated himself and the way he treated me. alfie picked the option to abandon the most beautiful part of himself, the boy that loves him fully, and please the people who don't actually care or understand alfie. this is why i can say that alfie deserves no empathy for his choice. because alfie can say that he needs to maintain safety with his dad (which i agree), but he didn't need to hurt himself or me in the process. i made it as easy as i possibly could for him to switch to a healthier path, and he chose cowardice instead. that's why i can be so transparent, why i can thrive while alfie suffers in the stupidity of his own choice, and why i ditched the breathing coward for the real boy alfie in my heart. i don't wonder if i should have said anything extra or did something differently, because i know i said everything i needed to say and did everything i felt like i needed to do. you won't catch me on websites where people say things that they never got to send. those websites are for people who didn't communicate when they had the chance to, and that fundamentally goes against my requirement of clear communication. alfie is a boy who is more in control than he thinks he is, and he made a fully preventable mistake here in this connection with himself and i. i want alfie to have a beautiful life, but how alfie proceeds on from here is up to alfie because only alfie controls his own destiny, not me, and certainly not his dad/abuser.

conclusion

• alfie only has himself to blame for the way this connection fractured and ended. it was not inevitable. i am not trying to avoid taking accountability for my own actions, rather i am outlining that the end of this connection is a direct consequence of alfie's actions. on my side, all i wanted was to love a boy and be loved by a boy. the love was evidently mutual (even if alfie doesn't want to acknowledge it), but the difference was that i chose alfie every time while alfie chose to run away repeatedly.

• while i understand how growing up with emotionally immature and unavailable parents like his father has impacted alfie, it is not my job to absorb the harm alfie was inflicting onto me even if i can handle it. i grew up in similar conditions to alfie's, but i did not push my trauma onto him. in this connection, i did my best to show up openly, honestly, and cleanly from a place of integrity. alfie chose avoidance, a lack of communication, unhealthy control and betrayal. i cannot control alfie's actions.

• i am personally lucky that i am ahead of the same developmental arc that alfie is on and can see and handle everything that alfie's avoidance threw my way, even though i did not deserve it. alfie is also lucky that he found a boy that understood him fully, loved him fully, and loved him healthily. i have also observed that i currently value alfie's self-worth more than he does himself as reflected in our contrasting behaviour. it is not my job to convince alfie of his own self-worth, but i have been treating him as a boy with immense value and high unrealised potential.

• everything that alfie has done in this connection is something i have done when i was younger, and therefore i can map out alfie's behaviour cleanly while preventing self-harm. the shared understanding and similarities between both of us was literally the foundation of our soul-level connection, and i find it a pity that alfie chose to throw it away. 

• i have mentally saved and modeled alfie's inner child (from before the avoidance) in my internal world so that my disappointment in alfie's behaviour does not impact my self-concept. this is the only way i can healthily process this connection that benefits my growth and prevents tainting my love for alfie's inner child, real boy alfie. at the same time, this also ensures that i can take a defensive stance to protect alfie's identity, value, and self-worth while taking an offensive stance on his harmful behaviour to send the message that his avoidant behaviour is completely unacceptable.

• alfie once told me that he lacked the capacity to continue this connection. alfie was wrong. alfie did not lack the capacity. alfie demonstrated his capacity and ability to love in the way he originally connected with me at the pier. rather alfie lacked the bravery or courage to hold the connection. that is the fundamental reason why alfie was being so avoidant as i left and why i specifically choose to call alfie a coward. i stayed for as long as i did because i saw alfie’s true self and i loved what i saw. alfie’s avoidance can’t delete that, just as how he can’t control my actions, or block my awareness. alfie is someone i understand, whether he likes it or not.

• i would have rather used my awareness to build a constructively beautiful connection between both alfie and i, but alfie chose to demonstrate his cowardice so i documented that instead. mate, our nervous systems have already connected, that can’t be undone. alfie can try to forget this website, but it’s too easy to remember the url. it's literally [his name].[my name][the last 2 digits of my birth year].com. does mean boy alfie not like i’ve had to say? i don’t like writing about the failure of the boy that i love either, but he chose this narrative through his own actions. it's incredibly mind-numbing to continually document the same repeated failure over and over again. girl- please give me something more original for a change, something that's not just more avoidance or excuses. avoidance is so bland and unoriginal, particularly compared to the boy i originally fell in love with.

• i am not a perfect boy, but i am a boy that will love real boy alfie as best as i can, always. i want alfie to be truly happy one day, whether that is with me or not. therefore, i chose to leave him at this point in time out of integrity, self-respect and self-protection, and also because this is the best way i can healthily love alfie in the current moment. in my eulogy, i vowed to love alfie's inner child till the day that i die, and i intend to uphold that promise. alfie is never truly alone so long as i am alive.

• alfie, i didn't deserve to be treated this way by you. i love you so deeply and you should have at the very least treated me with respect and kindness. you actually demonstrated that you knew exactly how to treat me kindly, how to regulate my anxiety. you once loved me and comforted me so perfectly in a way that can't be taught or explained, you seemed to understand how i felt without words, and then you chose to betray what you saw in me. now i'm leaving your avoidant behaviour before it actually harms me, and i'm keeping your soul in my heart.

• putting avoidance to the side, i want alfie to know that i want him to be happy and have a fulfilling life that isn't constrained by the people who have hurt him. i hope that alfie becomes the brave boy i know he can be, and that he knows he is already loved for being his true self that he is currently hiding. and when he achieves that, all alfie needs to know is that i am forever proud of him, even if i never get to see the brave boy alfie i know i'll love. we were two boys on princes pier, falling in love for the first time, together <3. i love you, my sweet boy :).

consequences execution transparency report

1. updating this website to become a digital tombstone for real boy alfie and a monument of mean boy alfie's cowardice.

✅ fully updated with distinct sections for emotion (tombstone, eulogy) and observational analysis (ultimatum, analysing alfie's choice, transparency report), grammar and spelling checks, and website validation testing (minor edits may occur as errors arise).

2. blocking alfie's points of contact to me, and deleting alfie's contact off my phone.

✅ blocked conscious points of contact on imessage and whatsapp specifically to prevent communication with mean boy alfie, contact deleted.

3. disposing physical tethers to alfie by trashing purchased school uniform, polaroid of alfie, and the ayrton senna cap.

❌ rescinded to prevent self-harm, physical tethers redirected to honour real boy alfie in my heart rather than enable mean boy alfie in melbourne.

4. removing digital reminders of alfie through apple watch watch face, macbook background, spotify playlist and google drive folder.

✅ mean boy alfie removed from apple watch and macbook to reduce unhealthy exposure.

❌ spotify playlist and google drive folder privatised (videos remain accessible) to prevent self-erasure and redirected to real boy alfie in my heart.

5. associating love for real boy alfie to mean boy alfie, preventing empathy, and processing complete detachment and moving on from alfie.

✅ completed detachment and moving on from mean boy alfie, empathy for the coward in melbourne is cut off.

❌ love for real boy alfie redirected internally and to personal self-worth to prevent unhealthy emotional suppression and enact vow to love real boy alfie till the day i die.

*consequences ultimately executed based on integrity reflection and ethical considerations.

remember, i'll always be here for you, even if you can't see me, because i love you, real boy alfie, always <3 (spotify - harvey by alex g)