i love you, alfie. i didn't even realize that until you left, until i fully reflected. i saw how hard it was for you to leave, and why you did so. i admire you so much. i feel so lucky and honoured that i got to love you. you showed so much care, softness and gentleness for me, for us, for you. i’m glad i didn’t know it was love back then though, because i would’ve stressed out. and while i never got to say “i love you”, the songs i sent you showed it. you are my first true love and i'll always love you deeply; i physically can’t ever not love you, my favourite boy, even if we never meet again. we were two boys on princes pier, falling in love for the first time, together. i love you, alfie, and i'll remember you always ❤️🙃.

(if you prefer hearing me read this aloud, click here)

folder with all the photos i got of you

and because i'm a real boy with real emotions, here's some photos of me processing you. meeting you changed me for the better, i finally feel like i can be happy again.

(if you prefer hearing me read this aloud, click here)

and now i need to step back, i need to follow your lead. up till recently, i never imagined that love was possible for me. you proved that wrong, even in your departure. now i’m leaving australia and finding a new place to call home, and i need to figure out who i am in love. it’s an existential question because i know who i am and my values and beliefs, but i don’t know who i am when i get to love and be loved. and i wish that we could explore together, but we are both not ready. you were right. if we really never meet again, you’ll always find a part of my soul at princes pier or at kamarun lookout, qld :)

i will keep this website up for the both of us, our own little space on the internet. and you’ll always have a way to reach me on my australian or singaporean number, but this might be it for a long time. i love you, alfie. kevin loves you. kevin loves alfie <3.

(if you prefer hearing me read this aloud, click here)