terms of rights
alfie is not allowed to abuse his rights. alfie is not allowed to control or manipulate me. alfie is not allowed to limit my growth or my freedom.
the right to non-erasure
alfie is allowed to be treasured and loved as a very important boy to me. alfie is allowed to be acknowledged and celebrated as a part of my life story. physical objects that are associated with alfie are treated with care and respect. alfie is not to be erased from my history. alfie will not be abandoned.
the right to safety
alfie is allowed to rest with me. alfie is allowed to drop his defenses with me. alfie is allowed non-judgement by me. alfie is allowed to be his true, authentic self. alfie is allowed to be protected by me. alfie is allowed to navigate his pain freely. alfie is allowed to feel his feelings freely. alfie is allowed to have his struggles be validated. alfie is allowed a safe space with me.
the right to love
alfie is allowed to be loved by me until my death. alfie is loved because of who he fundamentally is. alfie is a boy who deserves to be loved fully. my love for alfie is fundamentally integrated in my relational foundations. alfie is allowed to love me and care for me in his own way.
the right to return (terms apply)
alfie is allowed to return to repair the damage he caused between us. alfie is allowed to try to build a connection and a relationship with me. alfie is allowed to try his best and make mistakes.
*alfie is required to take accountability for his actions to use this right.
the right to goodness
alfie is allowed to have his fundamental goodness validated and remembered by me. alfie’s inner child is permanently granted understanding and love by me. alfie is allowed to be fully himself without judgement with me. alfie is allowed to have his core identity be protected by me.
the right to honesty
alfie is allowed to perceive my unfiltered and authentic self in a way that feels safe for him. alfie is allowed access to my true thoughts and feelings. alfie is allowed to see my strengths and my weaknesses. alfie is allowed to see me at my worst (eg. when i crash out, etc). alfie is allowed to have his true feelings validated by me.
the right to borrowed faith
when alfie runs low on self-confidence, alfie is allowed to draw on my love and belief in him to mitigate feeling like a failure, a disappointment, or a letdown. alfie is allowed to have unearned grace for his true self. alfie is allowed to use my confidence in him to grow healthily. alfie is allowed to know that i will be there to support him.
the right to freedom
alfie is allowed to move on from me. alfie is allowed to live his life without me. alfie is allowed to leave me in his past. alfie is allowed to form his own opinions on me. alfie is allowed to be his own person, independent of my thoughts or analysis of him. alfie is allowed to be whoever he wants to be. alfie is allowed to be with whoever he wants to be with. alfie is allowed to make mistakes. alfie is allowed to be imperfect. alfie is allowed to be free.
i love you, alfie.
kevin